Taurus: Today is going to suck. Go back to bed.
Gemini: Stop doing that! (You know what I'm talking about!)
Cancer: Quit your job, drop out of school, and stop taking showers.
Leo: Go to a stranger's wedding reception and steal as much food as possible.
Virgo: Take the stick out of your ass. It isn't normal.
Libra: Rat tails are coming back--grow one.
Scorpio: Tell a stranger in an elevator that you're wearing new socks. Then proceed to stare at him with a big retarted smile until he gets out.
Sagittarius: Fart really loud in front of as many people as possible. Then pull your pants out in front of you, look down and say, "Eww! That was a juicy one!"
Capricorn: Ok. Time to take a shower.
Aquarius: Beans and grape juice will clear that right out!
Pisces:
Don't be so gullible. It's unbecoming.
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