"Don't Call Me I'll Call You" Simon

 
    Simon boasts that he joined the club because Matt made him.  "Matt needs more fans in his life," he adds.  I am inclined to agree with you on some level, I mean you can only get so close to a DVD, you know what I mean?  When asked of his favorite memory of Matt he said, "That lovely winter evening we spent together walking in the snow.  Wait.  That wasn't Matt.  What the hell?!?!"  Yes, I would agree Matt does need more fans when people like us cannot even remember simple things like whether or not it was Matt we were with that evening in the snow.  He also adds that while he's trying to cut down on his cheese intake, he would like to join if it means he can sleep with Matt's sister.  Don't worry Simon, there will be a contest in the future to see who gets to sleep with Matt's sister, and if your "man" enough, I certainly wish you luck.
Simon also has plenty of stories about Matt.  Best of all, most of the stories are about girl that Matt likes.  It will certainly be a delite to have Simon in the club then!  You might want to converse with Matt's Number One Fan on this.
When asked if what position he would like in the club and why, he responded, "Sure.  Why not?  I like the girl on top.  It leaves my hands free."  Can I recommend that you talk to our Bill Laird on this one?

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