The Strip Club
by: Mike
Kraack
I was wondering
if I ever told you about the time Matt and
I went
out tothat strip club down on Fourth when I realized that I hadn't told
you, and so that is why I'm writing you now. Ya see, he had just
gotten off work, and I had just gotten out of the hospital, and he thought
he owed me since
he was
the one that nearly caused my death. So down to Fourth we went, and
when he saw the strip club, he freaked, cuz I guess he didn't realize there
was a strip club there (and before you go looking for it, realize that
they closed it down soon after the events in this story). So he was
all freaking out, telling me we had to go there, and it was his treat,
and everything, so I thought...what the hell? We got inside and there
were women everywhere. They were sitting around drinking, and chatting.
We went and found a table, and sat down. The waiter came by and took
our drink order. Matt ordered some fairy drink, and I had a zombie
(1 part
151 Rum,
2 part Light Rum, 1 part Dark Rum, 2 packets sugar, 1 cherry, 1 part grenadine,
2 parts sweet&sour mixer or grapefruit juice). Those drinks are
strong, and it must've hit me like a ton of bricks, because when the strippers
went up on stage, and started coming around giving lap dances, I just sat
there. Not Matt. No no no, my friends. Matt was in the
thick of it. Whenevr a stripper came by, Matt got a lapdance. Whenever
a new stripper went on stage, Matt was up there to put a tip in the thong.
When we came in, I had told the person at the door that it was Mattt's
birthday, so they had a birthday dance for him. They dragged him
up on stage,
tied him to a chair, and then all of the dancers came by and danced for
him. Some of them touched him "down there", if you know what I'm
saying. It wasn't long before there was a big spot on his trousers.
After one of the dancers cleaned that up, they sent Matt back down to me.
He wanted
to take me back to his place and hang out. On the way, I started
to sober up, and it wasn't long before I realized that all the women there
had been in the audience. The strippers had been men! Thank
God I was too plastered to notice. But I did notice the growing tent
in Matt's pants, and when we got out of the car at his place, I ran away,
because
I think I know what he had in mind. When the cops found out about
the "touching" during the birthday show, they closed the place down.
I'm sure you all heard about it. Matt was sad when that happened.
Remember?
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